Ever think your dating life is dramatic?
Imagine being ghosted on a political alliance by Queen Elizabeth I, getting so mad you call her a “vulgar wench” in a letter, and then asking to marry her cousin a few years later.
Welcome to the chaotic pen-pal relationship of Russian Czar Ivan the Terrible and Queen Elizabeth I.
Here is how the ultimate royal drama went down:
The DMs (1567): Ivan drops into Elizabeth’s correspondence. Historians are still debating if he actually proposed, but the vibes were definitely there. He wanted a marriage; she wanted a trade deal.
The Ghosting: Elizabeth ignores his push for a strict military alliance.
The Meltdown (1570): Ivan writes a scathing letter essentially saying: “I thought you actually ruled your country, but turns out you’re just run by merchants and peasants. You’re acting like a vulgar wench (пошлая девица in the Russian original).” 💀
The U-Turn: After a brief silent treatment, they actually start writing to each other again.
Ivan even tries to marry her relative, Mary Hastings. Talk about keeping it in the family!
Eleven of Ivan’s chaotic letters still survive in the archives today.
Next time you want to send an angry text, just remember—at least it won’t be preserved by global historians for the next 450 years.
